So my nanay never recovered from her stroke and sadly she passed away. I have not been doing anything for the past couples of weeks and my dad got back yesterday and it's the first time that I really had a courage to start blogging again. I saw the videos and pictures that was taken by my cousin during her wake/funeral and appreciate that since I couldn't be there it was nice to at least see what was going on. I wrote her dedication letter and here it is..
My Nanay Petring,
I don't really know where to begin as I write this letter of commemoration to celebrate your life and what you mean to all of us, mga apo, mga anak, and mga amigo and of course sa imong asawa.
Nanay it has taken me by surprise and I'm sure everyone of your passing. I was trying to understand why God has taken you so soon away from us. I was trying to understand how such a wonderfully made nanay just go. I just didn't think it would be you. I just feel like I didn’t get to spend enough time with you.
In all my recollection of you I have nothing but good things to say. I never met and known anyone who is as sweet, loving, caring as you are. I don't know how you do what you do sometimes. I always remember that smile and laugh that you have. That simple touch/haplos as your way of saying I love you or just a tender touch of hello. Throughout the times that I've known you I can honestly say I have never seen you ever get mad or upset. Even when I was being bad you spoke to me in a gentle voice of care as oppose to the reflex of yelling, which made me listen even more. I have so much respect for you and always spoke about nothing but good things to other people. I admire your character, you strength and gentleness.
Nay admire your marriage to Tatay you two love each other so much and are so inseparable. Someday I would like to share that type of commitment that you and Tatay have for each other. You both lead by examples when it comes to your family, your faith, and your love for one another. Tay, I could just imagine how you must be feeling right now. I know that you’re in pain but also know that we are all sharing that with you. Tay you are not alone and always know that ang mga anak, and ang mga apo are with you in this time of sorrow and grief.
When I was growing up I remember going with you to Kalamagoy to attend church. Going to Assembly was actually something I looked forward to because I spend it with you, Tatay, auntie Nening and uncle Abba and cousins as well as everyone else. I loved your sense of togetherness the importance of family and you could feel that around you and it surrounds and captivates you because your heart was always open. You let me be me, my own person, you were non judgmental, you let people as they are as long as they’re doing well to others and to themselves. I always loved being around you though I was young you and tatay always tell me nga pagbinut-an ka Shie, when I think about it I seem to be well behaved around you even though may paka maldita ako before.
You tell me the importance of God and respecting other people especially my own parents. You may not know this but we thought about you even though we’re so far away. We often talked of how much happy our childhood was and partly because of you. In-in , Bamba, and Dondon loved your cooking, Sheena even says she used to walk to your house at night so she could eat your food. You never let me wash the dishes even though I wanted to and when I do wash dishes you’re often surprise that I could do it. You always make sure that people eat regardless of who they are when they come to the house. Kambal sometimes talk about how you would raise pigs, you fatten them up and you say “Ka-u-non nato para sa inyoha” I remember the time you made me drink that bitter tea, I don’t quite know the name of it I would make a deal of not wanting to drink it because it tasted bad but you somehow coached me to drinking it and your homemade remedies seems cure my ailments. There are so many more happy memories that I could talk about and share with everyone. I’m really going to miss you and everything about you. As I am writing this letter I could feel you around me and tears start to run down my face and I feel hopeless inside because I could never see you again. It hurts me and I’m sure it’s hurting everyone but it’s because you are so loved and cared for that we feel this way.
So in closing, I wished I had spent more times with you but then again the times that I did spend with you were wonderful. Though it hurts to lose a loved one, it is most painful to grieve for what you didn't get to enjoy with them. Rather, remember the blessings they left behind, with so many wonderful memories. Treasure their essence, for it is still here with you.
Loving You Always,
Shielah
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